What Gets Entrance into Your Life?

Over two weeks ago, I said goodbye to most social media. 

Here is why I did so and why I think you might want to as well. 

I believe that technology should be used as a tool to make life easier and less stressful, much in the same way that I use the shredding blade on my food processor instead of shredding by hand to cook faster. Apps on my phone should empower me. Technology isn’t always better. For example, many people remember better or engage more fully while taking notes with a pen and paper over typing them on laptops. 

If you have seen The Social Dilemma on Netflix, you know that social media is specifically designed to keep your attention since advertisers pay to keep you there. Also, a self-learning AI is controlling what you see and don’t see. To be clear, it is manipulating you. If you have not watched The Social Dilemma, check it out here. Or read this short NPR article. 

I believe that social media takes advantage of the neurodiverse brain’s challenges and is overstepping into people’s personal lives without them realizing it. 

• Transitioning is a challenge for many divergent thinkers. Social media AIs learn your interest and then show you what it has learned will keep you there.
• Impulsivity is a challenge for many divergent brains. Social media uses ads for items/events/services that it has learned are your interests, sometimes causing impulsive purchases for items you think you need or want.
• It’s tracking you. Your private information is out there, whether you know it or not. Some of the fastest-growing companies are those that spy on you while you are online. Information about what you do online is being sold to advertisers.
• The AI is manipulating you. I take issue with this because most people have no idea it is being done. It is insidious. 

What about Social Media that promotes awareness about Neurodiversity? 

• Some people on social media sites are careful to put out up-to-date, accurate information. And some do not. See my recommendations here. 
• Social media often cares more about content creators than content experts. 
• Some content creators perpetuate myths, misconceptions, and stereotypes about Neurodiversity.
• Some content creators oversimplify for the sake of making a video short enough that people will stay to watch the whole thing.  

If the above information hasn’t convinced you to cut out or curb your social media usage, maybe this metaphor with help. Think of your life as a room with an entrance-only door and no way out. You can control who/what enters, which means that you can create your environment. That is powerful! What gets entrance into your life? What environment will allow you to reach your potential and be happy? Would you let in things or people that upset you, distract you, keep you from moving into action, or make you feel bad about yourself? Of course not, but think of all the things that social media brings into your that do not serve you. Fortunately, we do have many exit doors in our lives. We choose what to and what not to engage our time in doing and experiencing. Ask yourself if you allow into your life everything brought to you or choose what to engage in doing.  

I have no regrets and don’t miss social media at all. Don’t get me wrong, for the first day or two, I instinctively picked up my phone without having anything to check and let remembered I cut the cord. It was liberating. My life is calmer. Everyone who needs to get a hold of me can, and the engagement is richer and more meaningful. 

Other ways to limit social media if you aren’t ready to let go completely: 

• MeWe is a social media site that is member paid. No advertisers here. 
• Grayscaling your phone is a great way to make your phone less attractive. The colors and graphics used by apps and social media sites are also designed to keep your attention. If you can’t grayscale your phone, for example, because you use color coding in your calendar, many phones will allow you to mute the colors instead of grayscaling.
• Take apps off your phone. If you need to login into your social media accounts on your computer, you will visit them less often. 

Other ways to limit being tracked online: 

• DuckDuckGo – I use this search engine instead of Google or any others. There are many others as well. 
• If you want to do more, read this Lifehack article. 

Here is what I kept and why: 

• LinkedIn – It is a professional site. I have never used this site to waste time. I only login into this account on my laptop. 
• GroupMe – I am a member of two family groups- one for my side of the family and one for my husband’s side. It is a great way to send out a message to everyone at once. Some of our family members live overseas. 
• Nextdoor – It is great for getting local information. I only login into my account from my computer, and I have all notifications turned off. I need to purposeful choose to get information. 
• Skype – Calling friends and family, especially those out of the country, is easier with Skype. It isn’t strictly social media. 

I encourage you to think about what you want life to look like for yourself and then take steps to make it look like your vision.