Seen, Known and Loved

October is ADHD Awareness Month. Don’t you know it is also Squirrel Awareness Month? That isn’t a joke – just a funny coincidence. 

Instead of telling people about ADHD (or VAST), a better term – Variable Attention Stimulation Trait0, I want to encourage people to become self-aware. Everyone wants to be seen, known and loved. For others to see, know, and love us, we must see, know and love ourselves.

• • See: We need to use the proper lens to see ourselves. That means not judging ourselves by what others do, have accomplished, or believe. To use the proper lens means learning about your brain wiring by reading books, watching videos, and listening to podcasts from reliable sources. It means paying attention to your successes and strengths. It means asking others what they think our achievements and strengths are—or asking them to mirror back your strengths. It means quieting the outside world to hear our thoughts, even if initially uncomfortable. It means understanding all of who you are. 
  • Know: Once you see who you are, you need to spend time with yourself, just like getting to know someone in a new relationship. It means changing our language to be kinder – from bull-headed to passionate. It means finding tools, strategies, and hacks that work with your brain wiring. It means tracking what works and what doesn’t work. It means creating a structure that allows you to build a life that fits your preferences. It means speaking the truth to yourself without glossing over challenges but giving yourself grace – or surrounding yourself with others who do this for you. It means accepting all of who you are. You have strengths, but you have challenges. That is okay; lead with your strengths and find tools for your challenges. 
  • Love: Now that you see and know yourself, it is easier to love yourself. To love yourself means to be compassionate when it is called for and nudge yourself when needed. It means setting boundaries for your actions and your relationships. It means advocating for yourself. It means taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially. It means using your tools, strategies, and hacks. It means creating supportive connections. It means to abide in yourself. 

Abide means waiting patiently for, remaining in place, being rooted, dwelling, or enduring. I like to be rooted. Your roots are seeing yourself with the proper lens, strengths, tools, strategies, hacks, boundaries, self-care, and structure. Allow those roots to grow deeply because you can now see, know, and love yourself; others will as well. 

Yes, telling people about VAST and correcting their misconceptions is essential, but your awareness of how VAST affects you is more important.