Compassionate Connection

Happy New Year’s! Have you failed in your resolutions yet?

I have found that my clients often want to develop too many new habits. The New Year is a clean slate that allows people to start over from fresh is often the general belief. While that is partly true, it is not the whole truth. We are still who we are – strengths and challenges. I hear clients wishing to change their diets or go on a diet, start exercising, finally use a calendar, start journaling, start meditating, and the list goes on. While all of these are lovely new habits that could potentially benefit people’s lives, trying to develop all of them at once is not possible. When we try to change everything at once, we become discouraged and fail.

One of the most important lessons from 2020 is that relationships are essential. Relationships of all kinds can be challenging for neurodivergents but for ADHDers, romantic relationships are incredibly challenging because…

They are unable to articulate emotions and needs.
They chose to live with their needs not being met.
Often they have behaviors that are misunderstood.
They can be forgetful.
They struggle to regulate their emotional reactions in the moment.
They are impulsive.
They are inattentive.

These ADHD challenges can lead to frustration, resentment, guilt/shame, mistrust, and more for both parties in the relationship.

Having a healthy relationship is wonderful and full of benefits. People in healthy relationships

Live longer
Are physically and mentally healthier
Heal quicker
Less likely to succumb to the adverse effects of stress, anxiety, and depression
Are more physically fit
Feel less pain
Are happier

This year, I am encouraging you to build habits that improve your relationship with your significant other. This one New Years Resolution can make the most positive impact on your life. It also has the benefit of having built-in accountability because it needs to be done with your partner.

I have teamed up with Robin Temple, MA, MSA from Relating with Heart. She is a couples counselor with 26 years of experience. She teaches and supports couples in learning to communicate better to enrich every aspect of their relationship. Together, we are offering an 8-week online coaching/counseling group for romantic partners who want more harmony and joy together. To participant in this group, at least one partner needs to have ADHD.

You will master simple ways to:

Deepen your intimacy and trust
Clear up misunderstandings and repair hurts
Prevent conflict, disappointments, and heartaches
Show and received love and appreciation
Enhance compassion, empathy, and humor about your differences

In this practical weekly program, you will connect with other couples who face similar challenges and be supported by each other’s success.

You will learn how to:

Understand your ADHD brain or your partners
Demystify ADHD behavior
Accept challenges in yourself or with your partner
Recognize self-sabotaging and relationship sabotaging behaviors
Implement tools, strategies, routines, and rituals to manage your ADHD challenges and follow-through
Share all this with your children, family members, and loved ones

Are you interested in learning more or registering? Click here.

Here is to a New Year’s Resolution that is worth your effort.

Love is a skill rather than an enthusiasm. We seem to know far too much about how love starts and recklessly little about how it might continue. Alas, loving each other does not mean we want the same things.

Alain de Botton The Course of Love