College and ADHD coaching

Going off to college is full of new found independence and excitement for most student.  For students with ADHD, the situation is different, when you add the academic demands of college and subtract the structure from parents and high school, college can feel overwhelming.

Most people with ADHD have a poor relationship with time. This issue becomes the center of why students with ADHD struggle in college and time management becomes more of a problem than it has been before. College students are expected and need to grow entirely responsible for how they spend and plan their time and prioritize their tasks, social events and studies. Included in this responsibility are the following:

• Getting up and ready for the day – without the help of a parent who repeatedly comes back in their room to wake them up or yell at them to get up depending on how many times the parent has already been in the wake.
• Self-care – taking care of yourself takes time and planning. Many people think of self-care as the little extra nice things people do of themselves like getting a manicure or having a spa treatment. While those things can be helpful; they aren’t self-care. I am talking about basic self-care.
• Make good choices with food. Sorry to be the one to tell you this but this is just the first thing you will find out your mom is right about. Vegetables are good for you. Some colleges have a nutritionist on campus. If you’re concerned that you are making bad choices or noticed the freshman 15 creeping in, find out if your university has a nutritionist and visit them. Another service most campuses have is the ability to pre-order lunches or dinners. For example, if you know, you always have a tight schedule on Mondays. This service allows you can run in and pick up a packed lunch or dinner; however, this takes planning, you need to order it in advance, and you need to remember and take time to pick it up.
• Getting enough sleep. Your mother is correct here too. I know college students are known for not getting enough sleep. For the ADHD brain sleep is crucial. Rest allows you will be more functional, feel better, stay healthier and be able to think better. It also allows you to get the most out of your ADHD meds. There is no hack for sleeping. It is just something we all need to do.
• Exercise – Getting exercise is one of the best ways to keep your mind calm. You should plan on finding some way to get exercise. It could be a yoga class, it could be a sport, it could be a club sport, or it could be just going to the gym. Virtually every campus has a gym on site. You will need to plan this as well. You will probably also need some external accountability too so ask a friend to do it with you.
• Medication – Taking your medicine on time. If you take medicine, it is essential so suddenly not having any is going to throw you way off track. It doesn’t actually happen suddenly thought you need to pay attention to how much you have left and when you need to fill your prescription. Some student uses a doctor and pharmacy that is on campus. If you have this option, I would suggest using it. Many students don’t have this option. If you need to call your doctor in another state, or have a parent pick up a prescription and send it to you or use a mail-order system all of those options take awhile.  You should keep your medicine in a locked box and never hare it with anybody.
• Attend classes – this means getting to class on time, most professors these days require students to be active participants in class discussions so you can’t show up overly tired or stressed out or in any other condition which wouldn’t allow you to be able to participate in class. As a side note, getting to know your professors can be a great way for you to be able to connect with them which will make class participation or even going to a class more manageable. It is also a get way to network for the future as many professors work in their fields and well as teach.
• Study Each Day  – The general rule is to study 2-3 hour per credit hour. So for a 3 credit hours class (which most classes are), you need to stay 6-9 hours. For a full load of courses of 15 credit hours, you need to be studying 30-45 hours per week. So already 45 – 60 hours are spoken from between going to class and studying for those classes. That is a fair bit of your week. The average high school day is 7.5 hours so about 37.5 hours a week. Most high students spend 1-3.5 hours on homework. I am going to go with 2 hours a night, so that is 47.5 hours of the week that is spoken for already. I am guessing you weren’t a high schooler spending that much time studying because I know loads for high schools with ADHD, have three kids of my own, and you are reading this article, so my assumption is you need so help with how to study.

When I talk to clients who are college students about studying we break it down into:

• Where to study – When thinking about an excellent location to study it includes what you know you need to avoid and needs to have for you to be productive.
  • Noise level  – Some people need a tranquil environment, others like to have a little bit of background noise, other need music or something else going on in the background. I am in my basement office just listening to the dryer.
  • Comfort –  Some people need to feel comfortable, others prefer a hard chair to remind them they are supposed to be working. I am sitting a couch with my legs crossed.
  • Distractions – avoiding distractions can be vital. For some students that is their dorm room or apartment, for some, it might be a student center because too much is going on.
  • Convenience – Some people just want to be near anything they might need so that could be the library if they need to look something up or a building where they have many of their classes so that their professors are nearby in case they have questions.
• When to study – One piece of advice that I always give is to register for classes that are back to back with enough room to make sure you can get to them in case they’re across campus from each other. When there are hours in between classes, this time generally becomes completely wasted time despite best intentions. Where you prefer to study may impact when you study; not all libraries or campus builds are open 24 hours. I don’t know many people with ADHD or many college students who are the kind of people who want to get up early to study but if that is your thing great. For most, it will do after classes with classes being in the late morning or afternoon. Some student schedule all their classes two days a week (M/W or T/TH) and then do all the homework on the other two days.
• With whom to study – Some people prefer to work alone; if that is you, that is fine. Some people need a student partner for accountability; if that is you pick someone who is comfortable calling you out for not doing what you said you wanted to do. Some people prefer a study group; if that is you then pick people for it that are committed to working/studying. Depending on your classes or your strengthens these may all sound like you for different courses. That is fine too. You don’t have to study the same way for everything; the ADHD brain likes novelty so mix it up.
• How much to study – You have a general guideline but how do you know really.  Each class will require a different amount of time to study. Pay attention to how you are doing in class. Bombed the last quiz? – That class may need more time. The previous test was so easy? – might want to steal a little of the study time for that class to put towards a class that doesn’t seem comfortable.
• Organize your own schedules – From the time you were little until the day you graduated from high school someone else has been planning vast chunks of your time for you. In college that isn’t the case. Yes, classes are only offered at specific times, but you have much more of a voice in your choices. I have a client who uses a metaphor that her schedule is a frame that supports a rose bush and she is the rose bush. Without the structure, she can’t grow or blossom.

This metaphor is an excellent way of illustrating the importance of a schedule. Some important things to consider:

• The time between classes is not free time. It might appear to be free time especially during the first couple of weeks. Going to your professors’ office hour time should be in your schedule.
• Listen to your body – If you listen, your body will tell you what is and isn’t working. I have a client who knows he won’t get any useful work done after 7 pm, so he doesn’t try to do that anymore. The evening is for friends and clubs.
• It is your schedule and not anyone else – Don’t feel guilty about doing things a different way or at a different time than other people.
• Remember basic self-care – Eat well and sleep daily.
• Choose friends and social activities – “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” This is true, but it also makes you socially isolated which is going to have an effect on your social and emotional well being. Almost 42% of college students deal with anxiety, and 36% of college students have depression. These are scary numbers. Your social life affects your school life and vice versa. While studying is essential and college is expensive, it isn’t worth your mental health. Social events including just hanging out with friends is an integral part of everyone’s lives. Nobody’s brains are designed to work all the time. Watching a movie, hanging out with friends and playing video games are bad until they start to take over your life. Learn when your studying efforts aren’t working and go have some fun.
• Goal Setting – Often people with ADHD tend to be best case scenario kind of thinkers which is excellent because optimism is, but sometimes goals turn out not to be realistic. You want realistic and attainable goals. If you get a 2.5 last semester, then a target of 4.0 might be a bit unrealistic, but a 3.0 may be totally doable.
• Confidence Building –  Many students may be arriving at a college or returning to college feeling a little battered by past experiences failure in school. Building up confidence becomes essential. This can be done by having small, realistic goals that are attainable and then become slightly more challenging as the semester goes on. You can also use the counseling center on your campus to get support.
• Organizing – Organization saves time and energy; not to mention lessens frustration. I’m not saying that dorm rooms or apartments need to be spotless. Only museums should be spotless, but it’s important to have things organized. Visual clutter has been proven to cause stress, but most of the people I know with ADHD need to see it remember to do it. These two things are not as opposed as they seem to be. You will, however, need to create systems and habits that work for you. Your dorm room or apartment should be a place where you can relax and restore yourself. There are too many strategies to list here.
• Focusing –  People with ADHD how often can hyper-focus; this can be both a blessing and a curse. It’s a curse if it gets in the way of other things like basic self-care, but it’s a blessing when you need to get some work done in a short amount of time. While most people will say the right way to do a big project or a long paper is a little bit every day, for most people with ADHD this is not going to happen, so you’re going to have to use some of your ADHD gifts to your advantage. One of them is the ability to hyper-focus, the ability to work on shorter timelines. I’m not saying you’re short timeframe should be so short that it’s stressful and I am not suggesting that you write a 10-page paper overnight. I am saying maybe you don’t need to start a month out; perhaps you could begin to two weeks out. The kind of focusing that most people think of when they think of ADHD is the inability to concentrate. For example not being able to pay attention in classes or while doing homework.  There is a load of strategies for this.
  • Getting to know your professor outside of class might motivate you to want to do well in the class because you like her/him.
  • Playing games with themselves.
  • Wearing a WatchMinder watch that reminds you to pay attention.
  • Sitting in the front row during class.
  • Using a LiveScribe to take notes.
  • Sitting near a friend who will help you pay attention.
  • Using a fidget.
  • Putting your phone away.
  • Grayscale your phone.
  • Take all the games or other entertainment off your phone.
• Prioritizing – How do a prioritize? Hmmmm good question! Learning how to prioritize what assignments to do first or learning to prioritize your own self-care first is an important life skill. Some people prioritize by the due date, some prioritize by what will take the longest, some prioritize by what will take the less amount of time, and so on. Finding the right system for you takes some time.
• Persisting at a task – We all enjoy and have no problem doing something we enjoy doing. Persisting at a task or sustained attention means how long can you do something that is not enjoyable. To do this, you need to be able to find a way to make it enjoyable or work in several shorter spurts. It is completely fine to work in four 25-minute spurts than for a straight two hours. This is the Pomodoro technique. It works great. You work for 25 minutes then get a 5-minute break then work again. After four 25-minute spurts, you get a longer 20-30 minute break. Several apps use this idea to time you.  You’ll be more productive if you work in a shorter period instead of trying to study for three hours.
• Breaking down these responsibilities may make them seem more overwhelming. So what is going to help? Along with medication and therapy as traditional support for ADHD, ADHD Coaching can be highly effective. ADHD coaching is a partnership. It will help students to achieve their full potential in academic, social and other life pursuits. Coaching strategies are specific to individual student needs to make the most of their personal strengths. Some students may prefer group coaching which provides more opinions, thoughts, and ideas and well as more people in their support network. It gives them more accountability too.

An ADHD coach is an advocate who works with you to help you build new habits, create systems, become more self-aware, create next action steps and use strategies that are most effective for you.

How does coaching work?

For Individual coaching, the students and the coaches talk regularly, usually weekly. During this time they check in about academic and personal goals. The student gains awareness about what did or didn’t work, creates next step actions in pursuit of his/her goals and pauses to appreciate accomplishments. The student’s half of the partnership is to come prepared to talk openly about opportunities and challenges. The coach’s half of the partnership is to create a safe environment, point out contradictions in words and behaviors and to ask compelling questions. The coach is not a doctor, a therapist or a tutor but can help identify strategies to stay organized, make suggestions on how to utilize your time well, help create a plan to keep on track in your classes, remind you to make good choices to take care of yourself emotionally and physically, and help you explore how to improve the relationships in your life with friends, peers, professors, and family members. Sessions are usually 30 to 60 minutes depending on client needs. Sessions can be done in person, by phone or via Zoom.

For group coaching, many of the same pieces in place. The student members of a group need to be:

• Committed – Come to week meetings prepared and on time.
• Participant – Share about themselves, offer ideas to other members and to help themselves and ask questions to support other members.
• Act – Being part of the group is more than a weekly meeting. There are actions to practice between session.
• Still, I am not a doctor, a therapist or a tutor but can help provide ADHD education. Everyone should understand what their diagnose means. Being able to accept that some characteristics are the ADHD often helps students come to terms with them so they can find a solution that works for them.

The coach helps identify strategies to stay organized, make suggestions on how to utilize your time well, help create a plan to keep on track in your classes, remind you to make good choices to take care of yourself emotionally and physically, and help you explore how to improve the relationships in your life with friends, peers, professors, and family members. But the group decides the topics we discuss not the coach. Groups usually meet 10-12 times for 90-minute sessions via Zoom.

Some parents are reluctant to pay for coaching so why should parents consider an ADHD Coach for their child? Many parents believe they know what their child needs and can help them achieve it. I will agree parents know their child exceptionally well, but often teens and young adult don’t want to disappoint a parent, so they keep their struggles as hidden possible. An ADHD coach can:

• Help provide steady guidance and accountability during a time where a young person’s job is to break away from their parents so that he/she can forge out on their own.
• Teens and young adults that won’t listen to their parents’ advice. Even if it is good advice, but they may be able to hear what they need to do from an ADHD coach.
• Just 5 percent of college students with ADHD will graduate, versus 41 percent of their non-ADHD peers, according to a 2008 report in the The Journal of Learning.

For many college students, ADHD coaching can mean the difference between success and failure for students with ADHD.